Saturday Night Live

- Season 9

(1983)

The host for this episode is Brandon Tartikoff and the musical guest is John Cougar (his second appearance). Sketches are: Gross, Kazurinsky and Murphy are at Brandon's office; Brooke Shields under the pseudonym of "Martha" endorses Calvin Klein Cream Pies; James Watt is hated by his maid Rose; Art Hammond interviews a jazz musician; Herb Fein; the Whiners have ideas for their show; Gumby has a rehearsal; Larry's Corner; two criminals take a shop and an NBC self-parody ad. John Cougar performs "Pink Houses" and "Crumbling Down".

Sketch's were as follows, "Calvin Klein Cream Pies, Mister Robinson's Neighborhood, Crazy Edelman, What Would Frank Do?, Small World, Odyssey of a Paperclip, Spanish Class, Autograph Hounds, Book Beat, The Amos 'n Andy Show, Masterpiece Humor, Body Guard." Musical numbers were "I Don't Wanna Dance, Electric Avenue and Living on the Front Line."

Sketch's include "Locker Room, Old Country Ski Lodge, Village of the Damned Little Rascals, Eddie In New Jersey, Phone Booth Confession, Movie Contract, Backstage with Ronald McDonald, Poly-Rock, Candace's Fantasy Shack, Men Behind Bars, Backstage." Musical numbers include "Doctor Heckyll and Mr. Jive and It's a Mistake"

Hosted by Hill Street Blues star Betty Thomas with music by The Stray Cats, the show is interrupted several times for special reports concerning the US invasion of Switzerland. The crisis came about after so-called 'Swiss Neutrallist' short changed an American tourist in a chocolate shop. Two sketches starring Eddie Murphy, including the famous "James Brown Hot Tub" were prerecorded for this show. Meanwhile, on Saturday Night News, new guy Jim Belushi has trouble coming up with a catchphrase or routine that hasn't already been done.

Sketch's include "Cheerleaders, Mister Robinson's Neighborhood, Thirsty Guy, History: The Real Story, Dion's Cornet Man, Dopeball, Caffeine Achievers, Kennedy: The Man Behind The Woman!, Sarcastic Mother Superior, She's A Witch, What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?" Musical numbers were "Tonight and Way Down."

Sketch's include "Surgery, What Famous Person Do You Look Like?, The Forum, American In Paris, Cornet, Entertainment Tonight, Parachute, Fascinating People and Their Friends, Larry's Corner, Thanksgiving Dinner, Gusty, Jerry Schtick." Musical numbers were "Working for the Weekend"

Sketch's include, "Rain Delay, Crisis Game '83, Know your Neighbor, Carvel, Mentl, DreamLand, The Point, Clark Street Garage Band, Autograph." Musical numbers were "In a big Country" and "Fields of Fire"

Sketch's include "Dion's, Unrequited Sex, Unanswered Questions of the Universe, Hello, Trudy!, Older Sisters of The Young, Pudge and Solomon, Reverend Leroy, Crazy Weinstein, Shoe Tier, Subterraneans." Musical numbers were "Stand Back" and "Nightbird"

Sketch's include "National Phone-In Democratic Primary, Buckwheat's Ghost, Countdown 84, Tasteless Choice, The Man Who Loved Swimmin', Nice Boys Don't Get Girls Pregnant, Right to Vote, Airport, Phone-In Results" Musical numbers were "Heart and Soul" and "I Want a New Drug"

Sketch's include "Donahue, Boy George Burn: The Man and His Music, Mister Robinson's Neighborhood, Mick Pitwhistle Does It All, Powerful Living Snaps, Man on a Chain, That's Okay, Shoplifter, Would You Believe It?, Save Lots of Plankton, House of Mutton, Boy's Life on the Mississippi" Musical numbers include "Suddenly Last Summer" and "Remember the Nights"

Sketch's include "TV President, Kannon AE-1, I Married A Monkey, The Hamlisch Maneuver, Fascinating People and Their Friends, Witness Relocation, Saint Don of Verona, El Dorko, This is Your Afterlife, Anniversary Special" The Musical numbers were "White Wedding" and "Rebel Yell"

Sketch's include "Winter Olympics, Buddweiser Light, Rock and Roll and then some, Wild Kingdom of Heaven, Gandi and The Bandit, Firing Line, Babies In Makeup, Mime Roommate, New Bad Babies, MTV News, Siamese Twins, Patty's Place" Musical numbers were "Strip" and "Goody Two Shoes"

Jamie Lee Curtis plays herself in various sketches, but also a stewardess, an adult actress and the wife of a man cursed by a game of 'tag'. There is music from Rappin' Jimmy B, Eddie Murphy in a video store sketch and British band The Fixx, making their live American TV debut. "The Julia Show" leads into a performance by Joel Hodgson. Wayne Huevos has a commentary on Saturday Night News. Joe Piscopo fills in for Don Pardo and does his Ronald Reagan impression. There are repeat showings of the fake commercials for 'Rubik's Grenade' and 'Texxon Oil', as well as the ...

Sketch's include "Hairdressers", Buddweiser Light", "Hymietown". "Hotline", "Fur: You Deserve It!", "News Bar", "speaking Freely", "How High the Moon", "Urban Answers", "A Nickel", "Face the Press", and "Jacoby Escort Service". Musical numbers include "Joanna" and "Celebration".

Sketch's include "St. Patrick's Day Wrap-Up", "Hung Like Me", "Winston University", "Family in the Attic", "Sammy and Reagan", "Unanswered Questions of the Universe", Bad Career Moves", "God's Place", "The Womb", "The First Show" and the musical numbers were "Mornin" and "Trouble in Paradise"

A young couple in love faces an unexpected and momentous decision while visiting a neighborhood ice cream parlor.

Sketch's include "Lost Script", "MTV News", "Folgers Crystals", "Price Water-house", "4 Minutes to Live", "Annie Audition", "Next Week", "Footless", "Soundtrack", "TV's Foul-Ups, Bleeps, Blunders, Bloopers, Practical Jokes, And Political Debates", "Sugar or Plain", "Sleepy Boy 2000". Musical numbers were "Let's Hear it for the Boy" and "Wrapped Up"

Sketch's include "simulated cat fight", "Folgers Crystals", "Lie Detectory", "Iceman", "2 On the Town", "Spinal Tap Interview", "The Turkey Lady", "Barney's Beat", "Sunny-Side Ice Tea", "La Cage Aux Folles", "Unanswered Questions of the Universe", "Dog Day P.M." musical numbers were "Christmas with the Devil" and "Big Bottom"

Five hosts compete for airtime with the regular cast. Billy Crystal appears as Sammy Davis Jr. with Joe Piscopo's Frank Sinatra in the cold opening and as Fernando on Saturday Night News. Mayor Ed Koch plugs his book on "Mayor Koch's Neighborhood". Edwin Newman comes out of retirement to host Saturday Night News and appear on the 'Hello, Trudy!' show. Father Guido Sarducci does pre-recorded street interviews and is seen in a repeat of a commercial for " I got you Willie, I got you Guido' (with Jim Belushi as Willie Nelson). Betty Thomas joins a self defense class run ...