Saturday Night Live

- Season 7

(1981)

There is no host for the episode, but the musical guest is Rod Stewart. The skits for this episode are as follows: Little Richard Simmons gets fat people to exercise as he sings updated versions of his rock classics. Andy Rooney starts musing about shoes, and gets sidetracked onto random thoughts about Nazis and his co-workers' names. A literary critic introduces the next generation of great writers, all of whom are just getting out of prison. Muammar Khaddaffi shows off his latest fashions. A man gets over-attached to a woman he has a one-night stand with, to the ...

The host for the episode is Susan Saint James, and the musical guest is The Kinks (their second appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: The Exxico company promises customers yesterday's technology at tomorrow's prices. During her opening monologue, Susan Saint James asks the audience to vote on whether the parody of her TV series, McMillan & Wife, should be done with McArthur, McBeth or McDonald. Ronald and Sally McDonald solve a murder while making love in their bedroom. Buckwheat, from the Little Rascals series, pitches an album of his unintelligible...

The host for the episode is George Kennedy, and the musical guest is Miles Davis. The skits for this episode are as follows: While taping a game show, all the cameras go out and the technicians all have heart attacks, so George Kennedy has to take charge and talk the show through to safety. Mr. Robinson presents some more characters from his neighborhood, including the landlord he's always trying to avoid. Andy Rooney shares more of his disorganized thoughts. Velvet Jones invites students to enroll in his school of technology. Harry Anderson does a stand-up act. Mr. ...

The host for the episode is Donald Pleasance, and the musical guest is Fear. The skits for this episode are as follows: A Jogger Motel traps annoying joggers with a glue they can't jog out of. Jerry Lewis shows people his two completely different personas. Donald Pleasance shares his pumpkin carving tips. Tips are provided on how to survive in Harlem. A repeat skit presents rising literary stars who are all ex-cons. Other skits include vomiting for luck, profiles in British courage, 'Last Night I Killed My Husband', tales from the hip, Annie intermission, sugar ...

The host for the episode is Lauren Hutton, and the musical guest is Rick James. The skits for this episode are as follows: The Exxico corporation has a message for consumers everywhere: stay out of our way or we'll kill you. TransEastern Airlines welcomes passengers aboard with a message from each of the employees who do their part to flying as miserable an experience as possible. Another skit that was rejected for being too cheap is presented. Velvet Jones pitches more of the benefits of enrolling in his school of technology. William Burroughs reads poetry. A button ...

The host for the episode is Bernadette Peters, and the musical guests are The Go-Go's and Billy Joel (his second appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: The Texxon Corporation reassures customers that for them 'Life is Second Only to Money'. After the success of Escape From New York, more films start featuring people fighting to get out of the city. Tim has further issues in his marriage with Madge the Chimpanzee. Eddie Murphy has a message for SNL viewers. The cast try to carry on with a skit after the lighting fails, but they are interrupted by a ...

The host for the episode is Tim Curry, and the musical guest is Meat Loaf (his second appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: The Texxon Corporation warns viewers that the SNL writers will end up like Karen Silkwood if they don't back off. Mick Jagger talks with fellow music superstars Barbara Mandrell, Frank Sinatra, and Buckwheat. The Reagans must deal with Ronald's illegitimate son. Frank gets more advice from his Papa. Tim Curry and Meatloaf team up to open a One-Stop Rocky Horror Shop. Dan Rather muses on what might have happened if Reagan had ...

The host for the episode is Bill Murray (his second appearance as host), and the musical guests are The Spinners. The skits for this episode are as follows: The phone company admits that its highly touted technological breakthroughs are just hot air used to justify rate increases. During his opening monologue, Bill Murray introduces his best friend, Santa Claus. Tomorrow host Tom Snyder sulks. Father Guido Sarducci talks about the benefits of MX-5 tampons. During the Weekend Update, Brian Doyle-Murray reports on the proper spelling of the name of Libya's leader and an...

The host for the episode is Robert Conrad, and the musical guest is The Allman Brothers Band. The skits for this episode are as follows: Judge Wapner oversees a lawsuit against Velvet Jones in The People's Court. Velvet Jones shows up in the Wild Wild Wild West. A skit looks at babies in makeup. Velvet Jones and Jersey Guy Paulie Herman give their thoughts on whether some characters are becoming over-exposed. Vic Salukin appears on Battle of the Week. Andy Rooney gives another rambling monologue on the little things that bother him. The Allman Brothers Band performs "...

The host for the episode is John Madden, and the musical guest is Jennifer Holliday. The skits for this episode are as follows: John Madden gives a talk from the Cincinnati Bengals locker room now that the football season is over and the Bengals have lost the Superbowl. Would-be hosts and other acting hopefuls are invited to enroll in the Johnny Carson School of Acting. Tom Snyder hosts a new kids program, the Uncle Tom Show, with special guests Captain Kangaroo and Buckwheat. Andy Kaufman comes on dressed as Elvis and performs some of the King's music. Other skits ...

The host for the episode is James Coburn, and the musical guest is Lindsey Buckingham. The skits for this episode are as follows: For President Reagan's birthday, Frank Sinatra performs a medley of songs about him, Nancy, and the rest of his staff. An elderly couple lets a young boy talk on the phone with his mother, then demands she pay $50,000 to them if she ever wants her son back. Tim takes his family to Disney World, only to catch his wife, Madge the chimpanzee, in bed having an affair with a gas station attendant. Mr. Robinson introduces more people in his ...

The host for the episode is Bruce Dern, and the musical guest is Luther Vandross. The skits for this episode are as follows: Raheem Abdul Muhammed reviews more of the latest films, in which he sees more evidence of bias against blacks in Hollywood. In the Bizarro World, everything is opposite of how it is on Earth, although certain things seem strangely familiar. Songwriters Harry Schleimer and Moe Laub try to come up with the next big hit. Additional skits include advice from Bruce Dern, a ski date with Fluffy, Who Do You Hate?, the Mild One, an unstable pilot, and ...

The host for the episode is Elizabeth Ashley, and the musical guest is Hall & Oates. The skits for this episode are as follows: Dan Rather starts the show with the evening news report. Pope John Paul II begins his tour of Africa. Joseph Papp comes on the show to conduct an audition. Dr. Jack Badofsky gives a health report for the Weekend Update. Harry Anderson performs a stand-up routine. Additional skits include the big plastic bubble, Speaking As A Woman with Shelley Winters, women's party conversation and Loewenbrau. Hall & Oates perform "You Make My Dreams", "I ...

The host for the episode is Robert Urich, and the musical guest is Mink DeVille. The skits for this episode are as follows: Before the show, the cast compares host Robert Urich with Burt Reynolds. Buckwheat performs with his backup singers, Da Dupreems. A repeat skit about a boy away from home calling his mother with a ransom demand. Paul Harvey gives the news and tells anecdotes about the lives of famous people. Raheem Abdul Muhammad reviews more films. A new version of Dr. Strangelove features President Reagan and Edwin Meese. An ad urges people to go out and treat ...

The host for the episode is Blythe Danner, and the musical guest is Rickie Lee Jones (her second appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: Lorne Greene pitches Alpo dog food, only to be attacked by his canine co-star. During Blythe Danner's opening monologue, Mary Gross confuses her with another actress and presses her to do a series of impressions of famous women. Americans everywhere rush out into the streets to announce that they're gay. A couple embraces celibacy until they inadvertently discover that neither of them wanted to give up sex in the ...

The host for the episode is Daniel J. Travanti, and the musical guest is John Cougar. The skits for this episode are as follows: After Daniel Travanti's opening monologue, Doug and Wendy Whiner celebrate their anniversary. Rod Serling hosts an episode of The Twilight Zone about a world in which everyone does Ethel Merman. A series of skits feature Larry the Lobster, including: voting on Larry, Larry's story, what happens if Larry lives, and the final vote on Larry's fate at the end of the show. Additional skits include cooking with Marcello, Hill Street Blues, the ...

The host for the episode is Johnny Cash, and the musical guest is Elton John. The skits for this episode are as follows: Andy Rooney stars as Ralph Kramden in an episode of "The HoneyRooners", doing his usual observational monologuing. When a condemned prisoner insists on his right to a final request just before execution, he gets Johnny Cash to sing "99,999 Bottles of Beer on the Wall". After coming back from another tropical vacation, Reagan opens up a dialog over the Falklands between Thatcher and Galtieri by having them act out a love scene together. Two women ...

The host for the episode is Robert Culp, and the musical guest is The Charlie Daniels Band. The skits for this episode are as follows: Billie Jean King joins Bill Cosby in a new episode of I-Spy. Aging hippies have to face the fact that they're entering the Middle Age of Aquarius. A new production of Annie casts James Brown in the title role. A repeat skit looks at babies in makeup. Additional skits include Party Girl, Uterus, Sunken Submarine and Happy Mayonnaise Palace. The Charlie Daniels Band performs "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" and "Still In Saigon".

The host for the episode is Danny DeVito, and the musical guest is Sparks. The skits for this episode are as follows: Andy Kaufman hypes his upcoming wrestling match. For his opening monologue, Danny DeVito invites the rest of the cast from Taxi to take a bow after their show was canceled by ABC without warning. Louis DePalma drives a taxi down to the ABC headquarters and detonates a bomb, bringing down the entire building as revenge for their canceling his show. Doug and Wendy Whiner annoy those around them with their constant whining. For the Weekend Update, Brian ...

The host and musical guest for the episode is Olivia Newton-John. The skits for this episode are as follows: An ad for TransEastern Airlines lets travelers know that every TransEastern employee is doing their part to ensure your trip is as miserable as possible. Frank Sinatra joins up with Stevie Wonder for a duet in the style of 'Ebony and Ivory', but the result is marked by Frank's crassness. Tim continues to have more problems in his marriage with Madge the Chimpanzee. Rod Serling presents an episode of The Twilight Zone that looks at the possibility of Hitler ...