Saturday Night Live

- Season 5

(1979)

The host for the episode is Steve Martin (his seventh appearance), and the musical guest is Blondie. The skits for this episode are as follows: The Pope makes an appearance at the Monsterdome, where his security staff has to keep the religious hangers-on from crashing the event. For his opening monologue, Steve Martin talks about his new fashion job, then gets angry at the band when they start an unexpected song. An ad pitches the benefits of Craig's Travelers Checks. A Roman Centurion faces a tribe of vandals who egg the soldiers, TP the camp, and have pizzas ...

The host for the episode is Eric Idle (his fourth appearance), and the musical guest is Bob Dylan. The skits for this episode are as follows: A doctor and Lorne Michaels argue over whether Eric Idle is too sick or not to do the show, while Buck Henry keeps pleading to be allowed to host again. For his opening monologue, Eric performs a series of impersonations from a hospital stretcher. Art dealer Tom Clay pitches motel room art as the masterpieces of tomorrow. A customer at a shop just wants to buy some shoes but the clerk keeps complicating matters. Prince Charles ...

The host for the episode is Bill Russell, and the musical guest is Chicago. The skits for this episode are as follows: Ted Kennedy makes an announcement regarding his candidacy for President. Nick the lounge singer performs at the Borealis. Mr. Bill tries to avoid getting hurt by staying at home, but Mr. Hands finds him anyway. Joe Garagiola does an ad for Chrysler cars. Other skits include The Landers Files, The Black Shadow, Obscure Sports Questions and Barry White's Big & Tall. Chicago performs "I'm A Man" and "Street Player".

The host for the episode is Buck Henry (his ninth appearance), and the musical guest is Tom Petty. The skits for this episode are as follows: The cast members start grumbling over Buck Henry hosting the show yet again. During his opening monologue, Buck is oblivious to the hostility from the audience over his hosting again. In a parody ad, a woman tries in vain to get a guy to come to her apartment for a drink, and finally settles on Honker. Todd DiLaMuca and Lisa Loopner try to fix up their single parents on a date together. During the Weekend Update, Father Guido ...

The host for the episode is Bea Arthur, and the musical guest is The Roches. The skits for this episode are as follows: After giving a speech, Ronald Regan has all his makeup removed as he gets ready for a long series of naps in between each of his press appearances for the day. An ad pitches Spud Beer, a beer made from potatoes for people who have lost their sense of taste following electroshock therapy. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain reports on the retirement of AFL-CIO leader George Meany, as well as investigations into embezzlement by the boss of the ...

The host for the episode is Howard Hesseman, and the musical guest is Randy Newman (his third appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: An Arabic family moves to a wealthy neighborhood in southern California to become the Bel Arabs. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain reports on Ted Kennedy's relationship with his wife, the worsening oil crisis, Steve McQueen's high salary demands and the deadly riot at a Who concert, Chico Escuela reports on the sports news while bemoaning his recent accusation of having impregnated a teenage girl, and Al Franken ...

The host for the episode is Martin Sheen, and the musical guest is David Bowie. The skits for this episode are as follows: A little girl keeps finding increasingly scary things hiding in her bedroom, but her parents explain away each one of them and yell for her to go to sleep. Advertisements pitch Le Shoe shoes, Martin Sheen hairspray, Foreveready batteries and the Minolta AM-3 camera. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain reports on the Reagan election campaign, Canadian PM Joe Clark's political troubles, the health risks of late-pregnancy sex, and an ...

The host for the episode is Ted Knight, and the musical guest is Desmond Child & Rouge. The skits for this episode are as follows: The Shah of Iran opens the show with a Christmas greeting for everyone. A secretary goes before the company grievance board to complain about the blatant sexual harassment her boss has been subjecting her to. New York policeman Bob Kopp offers some Christmas advice for everyone to watch their belongings, keep an eye on their wallets, get out of the way and mind their own business if they know what's good for them. A man almost throws his ...

The host for the episode is Teri Garr, and the musical guest is The B-52's. The skits for this episode are as follows: Father Guido Sarducci attempts to get an interview with Paul McCartney following his arrest in Japan for marijuana possession, but is unsuccessful. A group of débutantes in prison try to adjust to the restricted social life behind bars, hoping that George Bush will be elected and pardon them. During the Iowa primaries, the candidates try to win the favor of Iowa voters by showing up at their houses and doing chores for them. During the Weekend Update,...

The host for the episode is Chevy Chase (his second appearance as host), and the musical guest is Marianne Fathfull. The skits for this episode are as follows: Henry Kissenger visits with former president Ford and reminisces on old times together. An ad invites diners to come to Pre-chewed Charlie's restaurant, where the food is easier to eat because all the hard chewing work has already been done for you. Other skits include the Bel Arabs, You Can't Win, Speaking of Fashion with Mr. Blackwell, the life of Hollywood's forgotten director Linden Palmer, and a segment ...

The host for the episode is Elliott Gould (his fifth appearance), and the musical guest is Gary Numan. The skits for this episode are as follows: Father Guido Sarducci waits for former president Nixon to show up for an interview, but he never does. An ad for Jewess jeans pitches designer jeans made especially for Jewish women. During the presidential debates, one of the candidates sends a substitute in his place. While recording ads for Gallo wine, Orson Welles keeps flubbing his closing line. Other skits include The Incredible Man, Kramer vs Godzilla, Basketball ...

The host for the episode is Kirk Douglas, and the musical guest is Sam and Dave. The skits for this episode are as follows: Gilda Radner brings her Aunt Margie backstage to meet Kirk Douglas, but they are shocked to discover he's only four feet tall. For his opening monologue, Kirk reminisces about performing on stage in New York, then talks about his grandchildren and introduces his young god-daughter. A panel discusses the possibilities of Spartacus' personal life. A team of dentists is shrunken down to microscopic size to do hands-on work on Anwar Sadat's teeth. ...

The host for the episode is Rodney Dangerfield, and the musical guest is The J. Geils Band. The skits for this episode are as follows: Rodney Dangerfield tries to get ready for the show but finds that Father Guido Sarducci is using his dressing room to sleep in. During his opening monologue, Rodney discusses the lack of respect he gets in his sex life and his childhood. At a sperm bank, all the customers want their children fathered by Rodney, but the donor is having a hard time keeping up with demand. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain reports on President ...

There is no host for the episode, but the musical guests are Paul Simon (his fourth appearance, second as musical guest), James Taylor (his third appearance) and David Sanborn. The skits for this episode are as follows: For the hundredth episode, Garrett Morris holds a séance backstage to contact the spirits of the departed, and instead finds John Belushi, who is annoyed at being called in to do such a bit part. Bill Murray sings about how much he loves living in New York. The Horizon Television advertises itself as the biggest TV ever, though the screen is still just...

The hosts for the episode are Richard Benjamin (his second appearance) and Paula Prentiss, and the musical guest is The Grateful Dead (their second appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: News Anchor Frank Reynolds reports that President Carter is now a hostage in the White House. Paula Prentiss begins her opening monologue, only to be confronted by Richard Benjamin, who is upset that his monologue was cut. A husband has an affair with another woman in a hotel room, but becomes overwhelmed with fear and guilt at the thought of his wife finding out. ...

The host for the episode is Burt Reynolds, and the musical guest is Anne Murray (her second appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: Despite setbacks before the show, Burt Reynolds remains in good spirits. Parents let Burt know that they're happy to have him sleep with their daughters. A swinger in ancient Rome picks up women purging themselves at a vomitorium. During the Weekend Update, Father Guido Sarducci reports on the dwindling number of giant pandas. Baba Wawa does an interview with Marlon Brando, but the actor is only interested in stuffing his ...

The host for the episode is Strother Martin, and the musical guest is The Specials. The skits for this episode are as follows: Rosalyn Carter talks about sections of the 1980 census intended for illegal aliens, including questions about how they got into the US, where they would hide if the INS came to their homes, and how much they would be willing to do housework for. During his opening monologue, Strother Martin reveals that he was asked to host the show because Lorne Michaels mistook him for Tennessee Williams, and so far he's been keeping up the act. At Camp Beau...

The host for the episode is Bob Newhart, and the musical guests are The Amazing Rhthym Aces and Bruce Cockburn. The skits for this episode are as follows: A civil war officer talking to his men before they go off to battle makes a number of promises that are unlikely to be kept. Mr. Bill gets sent to jail, where he gets beaten and torn apart by the other inmates and Mr. Hands. Additional skits include The Dating Zone with Iris de Flaminio, Rare Store Items, and The Proposal. The Amazing Rhythm Aces perform "Who Will the Next Fool Be" and "Third-Rate Romance" and Bruce...

The host for the episode is Steve Martin (his eighth appearance), and the musical guests are 3-D and Paul & Linda McCartney. The skits for this episode are as follows: Father Guido Sarducci tries to get an interview with Paul McCartney in London following Paul's arrest in Japan, but he gets confused over the time difference and schedules the interview for the wrong time. For his opening monologue, Steve Martin talks about what he believes in. A group of prehistoric hominids discusses the day's hunt, but the leader gets angry when a strange one starts coming up with ...

The host for the episode is Buck Henry (his tenth appearance), and the musical guests are Andrew Gold and Andrae Crouch & The Voices of Unity. The skits for this episode are as follows: During his opening monologue, Buck Henry announces that the Saturday Night Live cast will be leaving after this episode, and then introduces a team of second-rate hacks and imitators that will supposedly by taking over in the next season. A party of British nobles includes the Sandwiches, the Worcestershires, the Wilkinsons and Lord and Lady Douchebag. Uncle Roy returns to get his ...