The Two Ronnies

- Season 12

(1986)

Sketches include a visit to the doctor by a short-sighted man with a tortoise, two tramps discuss their lives, a party with some party-goers wearing wigs and hair is big topic of conversation, we go to The Pink Rupee for a bit of rap, we see the documentary Little Big Shot set in America during prohibition and which is about the gangster Rockie Stallone, Ronnie tells his joke with a packing case on stage with him, there's hearing problems in the trenches in WWI, and the final musical is based on Alice in Wonderland. The musical performer is Phil Collins.

Sketches include a party where a man keeps hearing the names of people he knows in the conversation, two tramps discuss medicine, we go to a bar where a man and a robot go for a drink, we have a song by the ringmasters of the Barnum and Bailey circus, two yokels discuss some local and world events giving their unique views, we have a song by Lightweight Louie Danvers, Ronnie tells us a cricketing joke, and the final drama is about a very capable butler and is called 'The Admirable Brighton". The musical performer is Barbara Dickson.

Sketches include a yokel postman makes a delivery and has an interesting conversation, three tramps discuss crime, there is an edition of 'Speak Oz' where foreigners are taught the Australian Wagga Wagga double talk, a milkman makes a delivery to William Shakespeare and offers some advice, two allied naval officers are on the high seas and upset the Germans war effort, Ronnie dedicates his joke to the show's executive producer and is about two chaps who go to the movies, there's a singalong down the local, the final drama is a science fiction thriller called 'It Came ...

Sketches include a dairy farmer goes for advice about his cows not using the flush toilets, there is a spokesman for people who say everything twice, there is a spokesman for people who say everything twice, two tramps discuss hair, we meet a very annoying man in a cinema, there is a song by two bikies, Ronnie is going to get a new chair and announces his autobiography, Claire Rayner answers your letters, the final mystery drama is called 'The Village of the Smiths'. The musical performer is Barbara Dickson.

Sketches include a party where the theme is the great comedians, there is a message from a spokesman from The Department of Stealth and Total Obscurity with special responsibility for limbs and organs, two tramps discuss family, we travel to the captain's cabin on the Bounty to see the start of the mutiny against Captain Bligh, there is a song by the police who have trouble keeping up with the rhyming slang, a doctor sees a patient who has a hatchet in his head, Ronnie's joke comes with a government health warning, the final drama is an episode of 'Hercule Poirot ...

Sketches include a fancy dress office party, we have an episode of 'Indian Cookery' hosted by Ringo Chutney, two tramps discuss why they gave up employment, a coal man is protective of his daughter, we go to the Annual Crumpsall & District Chapter Hells Yokels Barndance, we go to a pub that only sells many different varieties water, Ronnie talks about his sex appeal and brings his fan mail, and the final drama is a Viking drama called 'The Secret of the Sorcerers Tomb' where we find out about the retirement of Mudguard the Mighty. The musical performer is Barbara ...

Sketches include: 'The Pub Chat', 'The Wedding Party', 'Christmas Day at the Klondyke Saloon', 'Lefty and Sixty', and 'Pinocchio II: Killer Doll'. Musical guest Elton John sings 'Candle in the Wind'.