The Green Green Grass

- Season 1

(2005)

Peckham resident and used car dealer Boycie is horrified to learn that the dreaded Driscoll brothers, local villains against whom he gave evidence, have been acquitted and are displeased with him. In a day he sells up and flees with bewildered wife Marlene and teen-age son Tyler to rural Shropshire,where he has purchased the run-down Winterdown Farm,along with its odd farm manager Elgin Sparrowhawk.

Whilst Tyler bemoans the fact that there is nowhere for him to ride his skateboard Elgin introduces farmhands Jed and Bryan, neither of whom are very bright, and Mrs. Cakeworthy, the cleaning lady who does no cleaning but sits around drinking tea with Marlene instead. Marlene reminds Boycie that if he is to become a gentleman farmer he needs livestock and Elgin tells him where he can get a prize bull, Rocky, from another farmer who is strapped for cash and likes a drink. Unfortunately Boycie's efforts to get him drunk backfire and he ends up paying more than he should...

Marlene decides she wants to cook some traditional country recipes,even though she is not noted for her culinary skills. She sends Boycie to pick berries but unfortunately he runs into Llewellyn, the crazy Welsh farmer from next door who points a gun at him. Later, when Rocky strays onto Llewellyn's land Llewellyn takes him hostage and Boycie must pay to get him back.

Despite Rocky being gay, it seems only natural that the farm should have some cows and Marlene thinks that six would be a nice number. Unfortunately, as a result of Boycie tipping Elgin the wink three hundred are delivered instead. The Boyces think Tyler should go to a local private school to get him out of the house.

Tyler thinks he has got out of school because his exam results are so bad and has to take re-sits. He ends up at the local school where he falls in love whilst Marlene is having trouble sleeping so, when Jed is going to the city, Boycie asks him to record some urban sounds to help her get to sleep.

Tyler has fallen for teacher Rhian and buys her make-up,causing his parents to initially query his sexuality.Boycie goes to see her to sort matters out but she explains she has no sexual interest in Tyler as she prefers older men. His hopes are raised but dashed when her father comes in -mad neighbour Llewellyn. The staff concoct a love potion to make Rocky more virile and Marlene slips some in Boycie's tea. Unfortunately it turns out to be a different potion - one to increase the cows' udder size.

At an agricultural ball where he has gone to advance himself Boycie meets Rupert and Jonty,who own a polo club,and entice him to invest with them for the social kudos - and a possible knighthood. The plan is to spend Christmas in Switzerland with them but due to heavy snow at the airport the Boyces are forced to spend Christmas at home. On television they see a police information show revealing Jonty and Rupert to be con-men. Furthermore the Driscoll brothers,having read in a society magazine that Boycie would be in Switzerland for the holiday season, followed them ...