Toast of London

- Season 2

(2014)

Steven Toast wants to enter an actors and prostitute blow football competition which is raising money for homeless ponies. He hopes to team up with his arch nemesis' wife Mrs Purchase but ends up being partnered with Wendy Nook.

Fed up with voice-overs Steven turns down a children's show - recalling an awkward moment in the past - and falls out with a gun-toting director. After Purchase has ratted on him to the tax people he agrees to helm the stage version of 'Calendar Girls' after the director has supposedly died. His aggressive attitude toward the female cast gets him sacked and there is worse to come when one of them offers him a lift home. The only way to pay off the bill is to travel to the Congo to advertise Red Carpet cigarettes.

Over-tired after recording an all night voice-over session of SatNav for the Elderly, Steven goes on radio's 'Woman's Hour' to discuss his role as Inspector Attenborough in Anthea Crippen's long-running play 'The Moose Trap.' Sadly, he reveals the name of the murderer, and is universally shunned when the play is forced to close. He is optimistic when soldier brother Blair suggests he audition as the announcer on 'University Challenge,' but after he has caused Jeremy Paxman to fall out of a window, the job goes to Ray Purchase.

When Steven's friend Axel Jacklin, Britain's best actor at performing in front of a wind machine, dies Steven's agent Jane puts him up for the leading role in a period maritime drama and he proves that he can withstand the machine. However he must be a Freemason to secure the part and makes a hurried trip to the East End to buy his way into the initiation ceremony. He is duly accepted but unfortunately one of the masons officiating is Ray Purchase, who ensures that everybody knows Steven only joined to get the part and loses it for him.

After discovering that ex-wife Ellen is to marry potato crisps magnate Sterling Porrich Steven gets a role in a Hollywood blockbuster alongside crazy super-star Max Gland. However the role involves him being buried alive and he is left underground when the crew disappears. Thanks to his wonderful new phone he is able to record a voice-over for Porrich's crisps long distance and, after being rescued as a result of fracking, takes suitable revenge on his rival.

Toast finds himself having to move out from his digs while Ed's niece, Honeysuckle, comes to stay. Honeysuckle has come down to get homeopathy treatment for an allergy which is more close to demonic possession. Toast also learns the love of his life and the woman that broke his heart is back in town appearing in a west end show. While moving out of Ed's to stay with Francis Bacon "I thought he was dead?", Toast bumps into her and they look like they might get back together or is there another reason that she is plotting and will she only break Toast's heart again. And...