The Royle Family

- Season 3

(2000)

Denise and Dave bring 10-month-old David Keanu Best to visit his grandparents. Predictably, most of the child-minding is left to Dave, rather than his lazy wife, which perturbs Barbara. Antony's friend Darren is also visiting, having been caught trying to steal a fridge/freezer from work. He is delighted when Denise starts to breast-feed Baby David, though Jim is disgusted. The family discuss David's future while Dave announces that he will build him a toy farmyard.

It's Saturday and Jim and Barbara have had Baby David stay overnight with them so that his parents could go to the karaoke at their local, The Feathers. Now both Denise and Dave are hungover, so Barbara fixes them bacon sandwiches. They see Joe and Mary from next door getting out of a taxi--returning from hospital after Joe cut his finger grating cheese--a fact that doesn't surprise Jim. The baby starts to cry and Antony is sent upstairs to pacify him while the others slip out to the pub.

Twiggy comes round to help Jim decorate the living-room. He tells Jim about Dave's problems with the police. Dave turns up and tells Jim and Twiggy about Darren's new girlfriend who looks like Tina Turner.

Nana's friend Elsie has died and she and Barbara have been to the funeral. She is drowning her sorrows with brandy but at the same time, since Elsie was on her own, she goes on about all the things that she will be taking from Elsie's flat for herself. This annoys Jim, who calls her The Living Dead. Barbara declares that she will not be cooking dinner, so Antony is sent to but fish and chips, which pleases Cheryl because it is a break from her diet. While everybody else is downstairs, Jim goes up and talks through David's baby monitor, pretending to be Elsie's ghost ...

Antony announces that he and Darren are going to London on a musically-connected business trip and when Jim mocks him Denise uncharacteristically sticks up for her brother, accusing Jim of always putting him down. The Bests' baby is their talking point: Denise tells everybody how he spilled an ashtray over himself, and Dave says he's still building the toy farmyard. Nana is taking forever in the toilet, and when she comes downstairs she complains that she is constipated, but her affliction ends when she breaks wind.

It's the day of Baby David's christening so it's all back to Jim's for a knees-up. Twiggy brings his latest girlfriend and Anthony and Emma make an announcement.