Still Standing

- Season 3

(2004)

Lauren goes to see a doctor about her rash. When her parents hear that she might be depressed, they want to do everything to help her. Brian and Lauren then realize they can benefit from pulling a scam on their parents.

Bill and Judy's neighbor Ed Bailey moves to Hawaii and they get new neighbors. Bill goes to make friends with them and learns that their new neighbors are a lesbian couple, Shelly and Terry, with a son, Chris, who goes to same school with Brian. Bill then gets Brian to tell Chris who's who in their school. Chris is immediately attracted to Lauren. Ed Bailey wouldn't sign a waiver to let Bill build a deck right next to his property, but Shelly and Terry say it's fine by them. Bill builds his deck. However, when Linda hears that the agreement is not in writing, she ...

Linda's cat actually kills itself accidentally. Judy consoles her and they have the wake at their house. Lauren and Brian are reluctant to take part in the whole funeral thing and Judy has to order them to participate. When Bill is momentarily left alone with Judy he starts to make jokes about the cat's death and after a few Judy comes up with one too. Unfortunately Linda overhears them and is offended. Bill and Judy then have to come up with a suitable apology. Unfortunately Judy only comes up with the suggestion that Linda should have a relationship with a man ...

Linda is choosing wedding invitations with Perry. This leaves Judy without company. Judy tries to make new friends in the park without coming across as a freak. When that fails, he tries to get Lauren and Fitz to hang around with her. Bill and Judy question Brian about his savings that have disappeared. Brian confesses that he is now playing a trading card game called Wizards: The Beckoning (a spoof of Magic: The Gathering), and bought cards that cost $200 - "But by now my collection has to be worth at least a thousand dollars", he claims. When Bill realizes that ...

When an after school program is cancelled, the kids' parents decide to have a meeting to determine how they can raise money to reinstate the program. They decide a silent auction offering items donated by the parents will be a good way to raise money. Everyone seems to have good items to offer, but Bill and Judy have nothing. They decide to offer a beef dinner for 2, followed by a tooth cleaning by Judy. No one bids on it, while the other items all have been bid on. Judy and Bill figure out that the reason people want the after school program to continue is to be able...

After Judy screams at the entire family because of a dirty roasting pan she intentionally left on the kitchen table (it's become a a week). She wanted to see if it would be cleaned by someone other than her. She says she does all of the grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning. Bill starts cooking secretly after he's been watching a late night cable cooking show, "Debbie Does Dinner"; Thing is, he's good at it but he doesn't want the entire family to know, since he would have to do all the cooking duties. Eventually, when he's found out, he takes over all the cooking to...

Judy gets alarming news from her doctor and gets the impulse to write a heartfelt farewell letter to Bill, just in case should the worst happen. She asks Bill to do the same, but he doesn't quite have the talent as a wordsmith so he has to seek alternative options of coming up with the letter...

After Judy expresses a desire to have a better relationship with Bill's mother, Louise dupes her into accepting a cruise invitation. Meanwhile, Brian and Lauren compete to be the entertainment at Tina's birthday party.

Brian is dating the school wallflower Brenda, but is also interested in the hot Kaitlin. Bill tells him how to "pull a Murphy": he used to date the school wallflower, which made him seem sensitive, and therefore interesting, in the eyes of the hot "school slut". Bill then broke up with the wallflower and got together with the "slut". Brian has a problem: his conscience does not allow him to pull a Murphy on Brenda. To his surprise, a solution presents itself, when Brian learns that Kaitlin would like a boyfriend like him AND he has to break up with Brenda because she ...

Each caught by their wives with the tape, Bill and Fitz blame each other, but when their wives reconcile from a past grievance, their web of lies threatens to unravel.

Bill learns. to his disappointment, that Brian is a vice president of the school kite club. Bill also notices that Lauren's friend Chris is hanging around in their living room a lot. On Lauren's request, he retreats to upstairs. When Bill comes down for a snack after midnight, he catches Chris sneaking out and flips out even though Chris claims that he did "nothing" with Lauren. Judy arrives to calm Bill down and has a discussion with him. She trusts Lauren and Chris, but Bill claims that Chris's lesbian mothers have an undesirable influence on him. So they visit ...

Lauren wants to go to a under-21 club but Judy won't let her go. There is a picture of Lauren and her father on the newspaper, except that the man in picture is actually Becca's dad. Judy concludes that Bill isn't spending enough time (or, more precisely, no time at all) with Lauren and Bill agrees to do something with Lauren. Not surprisingly, they find they have nothing to talk about, so they hatch a plan to make Judy think they have spent time together. Meanwhile, Judy can't resist trying out Linda's wedding gown.

Brian has a crush on a girl called Carrie at school, but to her, he is invisible. Lauren encourages Brian by saying that he has a lot of potential - with a little bit of work, he "could actually be... a pretty good-looking guy". She then offers to give Brian a whole new look, because that would be a challenge to her. It all goes well, until a slight accident happens... Meanwhile, Bill wants to buy a muscle car of his dreams. Judy does not approve. Linda stops by with Perry, who is about to start making a music video of his dreams - but he hasn't even written the song ...

Bill and Judy return home after a romantic date night and hear noise from the basement. Bill goes to investigate and returns to report that "Brian and Lauren's friends are down there" and adds: "I told a joke and cracked them up". Judy finds it odd, because "normal girls don't like Brian's friends" and, she points out, "no kids like your jokes". So she goes down with Bill in tow, looks around and sniffs the kids, but finds nothing. Then she accidentally bumps into one of the boys and hears bottles rattle inside his jacket. Lauren claims that the bottles are needed for...

Fitz is having trouble not to think about his divorce while watching football with Bill and Mack. Bill is having trouble enjoying the game. Then Fitz leaves and the guys rejoice. Judy, however, finds that sad and decides that she and Bill should visit Fitz to cheer him up. They are amazed when they find out that Fitz has a pretty sweet apartment - and there's even a bar on the ground floor. Bill and Judy go there with Fitz and Judy gets the idea that she and Bill should pretend to be single and help "sell" Fitz to a single woman. Judy finds an attractive woman, Denise...

Louise and Johnny are getting married. They set the date in two weeks on Valentine's Day and she wants the family to take part. Lauren and Tina will be the bridesmaids, Brian will play the guitar, Bill will give her away and Judy will be her matron of honor. However, Judy is less than thrilled but if she doesn't accept, Louise said the wedding will be postponed indefinitely. Louise has Judy running ragged and she is wants to quit, but Bill tells her she only has 3 days left and things will be great after that. Al, meanwhile, has flown in from Florida and he says he ...

Brian volunteers to help a hot "elderly" woman. When Bill finds out, he offers to help Brian ogle. Tina is sick. Bill and Judy continually forget to pick up Lauren from her school activities.

Brian is getting anonymous instant messages from a girl and believes it is Lauren's tutor, Sarah. Unbeknown to him Lauren is the person sending the messages just to play with Brian.

Bill's new manager is younger and smarter. When he takes an interest in Brian, Bill gets work perks.

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Linda and Perry are finally getting married. The main reason being, Perry's Foghat Cover band, that was supposed to go on tour, got canceled. The wedding will be at the local VFW Hall and will have a rock n roll theme. Although Judy is happy for Linda, she's skeptical about the whole thing. She wonders if this wedding is what Linda wants and if Perry is the right man for her. To Linda, all that matters is that she's marrying Perry. In addition, Judy wonders how Perry will support Linda and a family since he's unemployed. Bill says that he and his band will have steady...

Brian has the chance to go to Italy for three months as an exchange student and he couldn't be more excited, until Linda tells him about her misadventures in France. Reluctant to go, he tries to sabotage the trip by breaking the rules at home. Bill and Judy are wondering why he's acting this way and they figure that he may be afraid of going and doesn't want to admit it. Brian, now more enthusiastic about going, looks foward to camping, hiking and fishing in the country. This bothers Bill, because he always promised Brian they would go camping and he has yet to do it....