PhoneShop

- Season 3

(2013)

To celebrate his acceptance into the White Man's Reggae Club Lance bakes some hash cakes to take along to the meeting. Unfortunately the staff innocently eat most of them. As a result Janine is super-efficient but Jerwayne and Ashley become tearful and paranoid whilst Christopher becomes extremely aggressive and takes to the streets on a rampage of destruction. He is arrested but fortunately the policemen are also members of the White Man's Reggae Club and help Lance replenish his stock of cakes.

Ashley is forced to confess to Jerwayne that he split with his girlfriend Deanne, claiming that he and Jerwayne were a gay couple, because he was scared of Deanne's dog Dick, who was always trying to hump him. Ashley is about to tell Deanne the truth when she explains that Dick has died, apparently of love for Ashley. He agrees to scatter Dick's ashes but on return finds that Deanne now has another dog, Son of Dick. Jerwayne decides to maintain the lie of being gay when some girls invite him to an Ann Summers underwear party - where he meets another man also ...

Christopher grows a moustache for charity but is mocked by Ashley and Jerwayne, who think that doing things for charity must hurt. However customer Jennifer finds the moustache very sexy so Janine, who, after reading an Internet article, is into making positive decisions, hires Christopher out as a nude model for Jennifer's friends photography group in exchange for sponsorship. After feeling exploited Christopher shaves off the moustache but urges Ashley and Jerwayne to run a marathon with him, reminding that charity should hurt. To counter Shelley's demands to have a...

The Phone Shop is hoping to win the Golden Bowl award for the most missold insurance for the sixth year in a row despite the fact that the trophy resembles a man with his hand in a toilet and Christopher finds it all dishonest. Indeed whilst his colleagues are ducking out of paying out premiums he is trying - in vain - to dissuade customers from buying the insurance. However come the evening of the sales seminar he joins the others in putting over the soft sell, to the delight of his proud parents. Unfortunately they are interrupted by armed police after Lance's ...

Soogar, a new hair salon, has opened in the high street and Janine is taking lessons from its top stylist Eduardo to give Lance a trendy make-over, though the result is a disaster. Having failed to score at a book club Jerwayne and Ashley see the opportunity to hit on the salon girls and are appalled to find that Christopher has got in ahead of them and is dating receptionist Lettuce. Indeed all the PhoneShop staff are appalled as they think Christopher is dating beneath himself by seeing a lowly receptionist. However things change when Lettuce gets promotion as a ...

Jerwayne meets up with Cuzzy, who bullied him at Sunday School twenty years earlier. Cuzzy still makes Jerwayne feel so threatened that, rather than admit he works in a Phone Shop, he claims to manage a rap group called New Man Ting. Thus he ropes in the staff, led by Christopher, to perform with Lance making a video of their rap. They impress a record producer - until he discovers that they are all fakes, not to mention the fact that Lance has not entirely filmed over his sex tape with Shelley. The dejected lads return the Bentley they hired for the occasion - only ...