McHale's Navy

- Season 3

(1964)

When Binghamton discovers how superstitious McHale and The Crew are, he devises a plan to scare them into transferring out. But, when McHale and The Boys find that they've been duped, they cook up their own plan to scare Binghamton into canceling their transfers.

With his letters home, Gruber has led his girlfriend to believe that he's a Lieutenant Commander, and, when the girl pays a surprise visit to Taratupa, McHale reluctantly agrees to help him save face, by allowing him to act out the part. The charade almost gets them into big trouble, but winds up working out for the good, when it helps foil Binghamton's plan to have McHale assigned to a British Liaison's position.

Left alone on the 73, in New Caledonia, while McHale attends a staff meeting, and the Crew are on an unauthorized liberty, Parker receives the order from Binghamton to pick up the base payroll. After he's robbed of the $62,000, McHale and the guys frantically try to locate the cash, before Binghamton can accuse them of the theft.

Binghamton fakes an illness, and checks into the base hospital, appointing McHale as temporary Base Commander, to face an unscheduled inspection by a tough Admiral. But Binghamton's plan backfires, when McHale and The Crew manage to make it through the inspection, and turn the tables on The Captain.

Ordered to provide a safe haven for a Sultan and his 3 Daughters, Binghamton is forced to send McHale and The 73 Crew to rescue the royal family, and bring them to Taratupa. But, when Virgil sneaks one of the Princesses away for a romantic boat ride, Parker must become her stand-in, while the guys hustle to return the real Princess, before The Sultan and The Captain discover that she's missing.

After Parker nearly drowns Binghamton, during an accident on the 73, The Captain calls for a Fitness Board Inquiry to determine Parker's fitness for duty. McHale and The Boys then execute a clever plan - Involving nitrous oxide, or 'Laughing Gas' - To help Binghamton to change his mind, which backfires, when an Admiral from the board arrives early, to investigate Parker's situation.

After Binghamton devises a scheme to frame McHale and The Crew for the theft of his wallet, Parker is arrested, and charged with the crime. But the Ensign is cleared, at the last minute, when McHale and The Boys produce Parker's star witness - An alligator that has taken a special liking to Parker.

Binghamton has an ulterior motive, when he temporarily assigns a clumsy, bumbling British Sub-Lieutenant to the 73 Crew. When the Britisher captures Fuji, and places him under arrest as a spy, McHale and Parker work up a rather risky plan to free their Japanese friend, which is complicated by a visit from the Sub-Lieutenant's Admiral-Cousin.

After Parker is passed over again, for a promotion, Gruber devises a way for him to vent his frustrations, which winds up landing the Ensign in the brig, pending Court Martial. Then, when they find out about an upcoming visit by the head of the Senate Naval Affairs Committee - Whose name just happens to be Parker - McHale and The Boys work up a scheme to get their XO off the hook.

In an attempt to impress a 'Gung-ho' Admiral, Binghamton accompanies McHale and the Crew on a mission to an island that, unbeknownst to him, is the hiding place of the Crew's distilling operation. After the still is damaged in an air raid, it's contents spill into a stream, and, after Binghamton drinks from it, McHale and the guys must convince him that he's partaken of 'The Fountain Of Youth', in order to protect their secret.

Binghamton orders McHale to negotiate a treaty with the head-hunting natives of a nearby island, for the construction of an airstrip. But the native Chief refuses to sign, until their recently-deceased witch doctor has been replaced. When Parker accidentally gets the job, he manages to successfully negotiate the treaty with the help of the sun, the moon, and a cigarette lighter.

Binghamton has his eye on a piece of oceanfront property in New Caledonia, and, when it seems that Parker has come into some big money, The Captain hits him up for a loan, so that he can acquire it. Parker unwittingly agrees, but, after he finds out that his windfall is nearly nothing, Binghamton must join McHale and the 73 Crew in a scheme to get out of the deal, which nearly gets them all into big trouble, but winds up working out for the good.

Christy risks being AWOL, when - In a desperate attempt to be with his little Daughter, on her 2nd birthday - He tries to hitch a ride on a bomber, bound for his home town of San Diego. Then, major complications develop when - As the result of a letter from Gruber and the guys to Fleet Command - Christy is chosen as the Navy's 'Father Of The Year'.

Once again, Parker is in big trouble with Binghamton, and the Captain has arranged for his transfer to a certain island, which is a frequent target of Japanese guns. But the Ensign is reprieved, when Binghamton's lovely niece - an anthropology grad student on a brief visit to the base - talks her uncle into keeping Parker around, so that she can study his body structure.

Binghamton must put on a show of good will toward the local natives, in order to please a visiting V.I.P., but his plan is complicated by Fuji's love affair with the native Chief's lovely daughter, whose very jealous boyfriend is out to get even.

After Binghamton forbids their fraternization with the female personnel of the base, McHale and the guys find a secret hideaway where they can bend the rules a bit, with the Nurses. After The Captain finds them out, with the help of The Crew's new mascot - A parrot with a very interesting vocabulary - McHale and the guys and the girls must quickly whip up a plan to cover themselves.

Marooned on a supposedly deserted island, for their mandatory survival test, Parker and Binghamton are captured by a Japanese patrol. McHale and The Crew, on their way to New Caledonia, to try out for the Navy talent show, are captured, as well, when they drop in, to check on The Captain and Parker. They must all then utilize their various talents in a plan to get out of the situation.

In an effort to get the goods on the 73 Crew, Binghamton lures the boys into the hospital, under false pretenses, and has them injected them with sodium pentothal - Or 'truth serum' - Which causes them to tell him everything he wants to know. McHale and Parker must then work up a plan to get them off the hook, by literally giving Binghamton a dose of his own medicine.

After The Captain has his annual physical exam, the guys see an opportunity to get him out of the way for a while, and 'doctor' his X-rays to make it look like he's dying. But the plan backfires, when - In an effort to go out a hero - Binghamton volunteers to lead the 73 Crew on a dangerous mission to destroy an enemy fuel dump.

In an effort to gather evidence of any shady activities, Binghamton appoints Carpenter as the 73's new Executive Officer, and makes Parker the base's Laundry Officer. After Parker fouls up, McHale and the guys try to help him out, but Carpenter catches them in the act, forcing McHale to come up with a plan to get out of the situation, and get Parker his job back.

When Binghamton learns that all Chief Petty Officers are to be shipped out, he talks all the guys into taking the exam for CPO, then fixes the results to see that all of them pass. Now without a Crew, the 73 is to be scrapped, and McHale and Parker are to be reassigned. But a very determined Ensign Parker takes it upon himself to keep the 73 in business.

After Admiral Rogers mistakes a pretty young Nurse for Binghamton's wife, McHale and Parker must hustle to keep the situation a secret from Binghamton's real wife, who has come to visit the base as part of the Women's Navy League tour.

After the guys swipe Binghamton's dictation machine, Parker is nailed for the crime, while in the process of returning it, and The Captain throws him into the brig, pending Court Martial. Parker must then work with McHale and the boys in a complicated plan to try to make Binghamton drop the charges, by making him think he's losing his mind.

McHale's gambling, conniving, saloon-keeping old friend - Maggie Monohan - Is back in business, in New Caledonia, and Binghamton has been ordered to shut her down. Seeing an opportunity to 'kill two birds with one stone', Binghamton schemes to nail McHale and The Crew along with her, but McHale and Maggie join forces, in a plan to keep him from doing so.

Struck on the head, during a Japanese raid, Parker develops regressive amnesia, and thinks he's returned to his childhood days at summer camp. McHale and the guys must then try to keep the Ensign out of sight, long enough to think of a way to cure him, before the Fleet Medical Officer arrives, to examine him.

Major complications develop, when Gruber and the guys - Desperate to raise $300, for a tonsillectomy for Christy's little girl - Try to pass off a 'paint-by-numbers' portrait as a genuine 'Claude Gauguin' - Supposedly painted by the brother of the legendary French Artiste.

While searching McHale's island for some stolen eggs, Binghamton, Carpenter, and Admiral Hardesty are captured by Japanese soldiers, drunk on the egg nog made from the stolen eggs. But they're soon rescued by the Easter Bunny, on his way to an Easter egg hunt, supervised by McHale and the guys, for some native school children.

Binghamton panics, when he learns that Naval Intelligence is on it's way to investigate the disappearance of a $1000 jade necklace, which he bought with funds 'borrowed' from the Officer's Club. Then, after the necklace turns up, Binghamton tries to frame McHale and his men with the crime, in order to cover his tracks.

Parker takes full advantage of his situation, when he's temporarily promoted to Admiral, so that he can fill in for Admiral Rogers, in negotiations for the drilling rights in an oil-rich island nation.

After running into Jerry Colonna, in New Caledonia, McHale and the guys talk the bug-eyed, mustachioed comic into making an unscheduled stop, for a show, on Taratupa. But, when they learn that the base doesn't qualify for a Special Services show, they must make some special arrangements for an 'epidemic', at the base hospital.

Binghamton tries to frame the 73 Crew for the manufacture and sale of illegal liquor, and has them all thrown into the brig, pending an investigation. But, with a little outside help, McHale and the guys manage to escape from jail, and execute a complicated scheme to make The Captain look like a lunatic, in the eyes of the Fleet Legal Officer.

When an MIT-trained electronics wizard comes to the base to convert the 73 into a fully automated, remote-controlled vessel, McHale and the Crew fear that they may soon become obsolete. But they're reprieved, at the last minute, with help from a very unlikely source.

Angry after another mishap with Parker, Binghamton assigns the Ensign to coast-watching duty in a hazardous location. But he quickly changes his mind, when he finds that Parker may be the only source of his extremely rare blood type in the South Pacific.

After learning that his stateside employer has closed down, Binghamton lands a job as an insurance salesman, under the condition that he sell life insurance policies to the 73 Crew. But The Captain's high-pressure sales tactics prompt McHale and the guys to work up a plan to get back at him.

In response to a letter from Gruber and the guys, a glamorous movie star makes the trip to Taratupa, with a plan to create some publicity for herself. But her scheme soon goes awry, and someone else winds up grabbing all the headlines.

Binghamton pressures a young new member of the 73 Crew into spying on McHale and the guys, to try to gather evidence of any shady activities. But The Captain's plan is foiled by another new member of the crew, who proves to be not only very intelligent, but an excellent Sailor, as well.