Maid Marian and Her Merry Men

- Season 4

(1994)

Rose and most of the other Worksop girls are in love with smooth-talking Much, the Mini-Mart Manager's son, but the object of his affection, Marian, is unimpressed as he is using the villagers' fear of the Great Toad Monster of Stoke-on-Trent to frighten them into buying his tacky wares. When Robin, after his tap-dancing lesson, lets down his guard to reveal himself to the sheriff and Guy threatens to leave unless Robin is captured, Much seizes his opportunistic chance, selling the king a job lot of second hand weapons from the Albanian Ministry of Defence - which ...

King John aims to tunnel to Scunthorpe but the locals are horrified as Scunthorpe dwellers have two heads. Rose and Guy aim to raise cash with a phoney ransom by pretending that Marian has kidnapped Guy,who goes off to the forest. As part of the plan Marian and Rose are tied together and are pelted with mud by the villagers,who assume they are a two-headed monster from Scunthorpe. The sheriff's men pursue Guy to the merry men's hideout where Robin puts them through a messy version of television game show 'The Crystal Maze' though Guy wins a prize, the Tissue of ...

Fed up with the merry men's sexist attitudes Marian quits the gang and teams up with Rose, who is selling home improvements, including a flat pack extension for the castle in which John can put Guy's many toys. Rose, of course, is planning to deliver Marian and her men to the sheriff and lures them into the dungeons. However Marian escapes and ends up in the extension, which promptly collapses. Feeling ashamed of themselves the lads invite Marian back as their leader though Rose prefers to stay in the dungeons rather than become their au pair.

When the villagers catch colds the sheriff takes them to the seaside but, once there, forces them to build him and the king a holiday camp in time to celebrate High Forks Night. This commemorates a failed attempt to kill the Royal family which caused forks to go flying up in the air. The merry men are holidaying nearby and so Marian dresses as the food inspector, allowing her and her gang to infiltrate the camp, where they tell the villagers to feign having the Multi-Coloured Pimple Plague in order to escape. The sheriff intervenes, accidentally causing an explosion ...

The gang are suffering from insomnia and keeping everybody else awake so Gladys gives them a cure, Sleepy Cake, though it only succeeds in making them look like the Beatles. Gladys says her father knows a cure but he is a prisoner in King John's castle so the merry men set out to rescue him.They get him out, though not only do Marian and Robin get caught in the process but the old boy wants to go back to the castle as he is used to being a prisoner. He does however give them the antidote and Rabies and the remaining merry men, posing as Pixie Paul and His Little Wife ...

King John hires a man who is Robin's exact double to do bad things around Worksop, thereby discrediting him and the outlaws. However he is rumbled by Marian who persuades him to work with the merry men and a dead ringer for the sheriff and make Robin popular again. With the job done the look-alike sheriff gets somewhat carried away and heads to the castle to attack King John, making life difficult for his double.

After the castle is attacked King John decides to abdicate in favour of Guy. He goes off to the outlaws' hideout where Robin, hoping the king will leave him money, entertains him. However the king eats the merry men out of house and home to Marian's annoyance.Guy is an extremely childish ruler and the sheriff is tired of his infantile demands. He thus forges an unlikely alliance with Marian and the merry men, whereby they use giant puppet dinosaurs to frighten Guy into abdicating. However John likes it so much in the hideout he refuses to leave.

Rabies falls asleep, causing the outlaws to miss an ambush but, on waking, he sees a boat purchased by the king at a boat show. The merry men steal it and take it to Scarborough to push off the cliffs, in the process landing in a parallel universe where nice princesses Rose and Guya have been usurped by a witch who looks like Gladys and an ogre who is a ringer for Snooker. Rabies becomes a hero when he steals Gladys's magic wand and turns her into a box of tissues and Snooker into a set of place mats. The wand then gets out of control,turning everyone into inanimate ...