Love Thy Neighbour

- Season 6

(1975)

Eddie is taking Joan for granted and she tries everything to get him to pay attention to her. She starts thinking about Reginald Truelove, her first boyfriend. One night when Eddie goes to the club, she invites Reggie over, but she has a change of heart by the time he gets there. Reggie answers the phone for her and tells her it's "Bloody Nora". She gets spooked and goes to the club to explain. Eddie is not there; she missed him. Next thing she knows, Eddie is in hospital for confronting Reggie.

Jacko comes back from holiday with news that he is getting married to a bingo caller he met on his travels. When she shows up, everybody thinks she's after his money; in fact, Joan knows this girl to be a gold-digger--and already married. She sends the girl packing and the wedding is off. Albert thinks Jacko will jump into the canal, and everybody heads out there to stop him.

Bill tells Eddie he is having relatives stay at his house. They get into a dispute and decide to settle it with a duel. Nobby lends them his antique guns and off they go. Jacko loads the guns with blanks, and when Nobby sees this, he switches them for the real thing. When one gun goes off, Jacko goes down and Eddie thinks he killed him. Jacko only fainted.

Joan forces Eddie to babysit so she can go to the movies with Barbie. The vicar comes round and Eddie cons him into babysitting so he can go to the club. The wives come home early and the vicar goes to the club to tell Eddie. Joan is so mad at him, she locks his clothes in the wardrobe so he can't go to the darts match. Eddie wears Joan's clothes and gets in all kinds of trouble.

Eddie is researching his family tree. As a joke, Bill fakes an old portrait and says it is Eddie's ancestor. Eddie thinks he has royal blood and is lording it over everyone until Joan discovers that the documents were written in ballpoint pen. Mr. Pettigrew from Somerset House comes to the club and tells Eddie his ancestor was on the ship "The Bounty" and was indeed married to royalty: a black princess on Pitcairn Island.

The annual concert is looking dismal without a celebrity. Eddie phones the Duke of Edinburgh and Bill pretends he knows Charlie Williams. Charlie's agent tells him that he is booked in for the concert. The boys, thinking he is an impersonator, coach him on how Charlie acts and speaks. When Eddie insults him, he walks out. The night of the concert there is no Charlie, but Arthur tells Eddie that he turned away a drunk who called himself the Duke of Edinburgh.

The girls get a part time job on Saturdays, so they hire two nannies for the day, sight unseen. After they go to work, two sexy ladies show up to look after the children. These nannies get Bill and Eddie to do all the work while they lounge around all day. Barbie and Joan come home and catch them eating a meal together. The men are barred from all football and Joan and Barbie go to the match in their place.