Lock, Stock...

- Season 1

(2000)

Bacon, Jamie, Lee and Moon find themselves in possession of a consignment of porn, a valuable 'erotic' antique and a prize racehorse, all of which belong to East End crimelord 'Miami Vice'. As the local Mafiosi close in on the friends, various components of their loot change hands with alarming regularity.

A friend of the lads and a 'local businessman', Robbie Rossi, offers them a large sum of money to pick up a delivery of some dodgy designer clothes. Everything goes well until the lads discover that they have been conned and steal the van back for themselves. When they open the van they find it full of Kalshnikov machine guns bought in by Miami Vice to help him out in a turf war. Once more they could find themselves on the wrong side of Miami's anger.

The boys are offered a hoard of sex pills on the cheap in return for making a few dodgy deliveries. Everything goes wrong when the pills turn out to be a duff batch.

The boys accidentally record over a consignment of porn tapes belonging to Deep Throat, a vicious and nasty criminal, while running off copies of a wedding video they made. With just three days to replace or pay for the missing films they use every idea they possibly can to make their own porn videos, so at least they will have something to give to Deep Throat when he comes calling on them.

Miami Vice is having accountant problems. Not only is someone skimming money from his operations, but Moira is holding out her 10% of Lapland. The boys unwittingly get involved and end up having to pay Miami £20,000 each. Jamie needs to borrow the money from his uncle and has to 'babysit' a friend of his uncle's called 'Two Sips' who is returning to England for a few days.

Miami Vice goes into the meat business and employs the lads to pick up a consignment being delivered by three psychotic Russians. Moon's country cousins get involved with them and a fight over a prize bull. Meanwhile a drug-crazed duo want their revenge on Miami and intend to get their own hands on the beef to exact it.

A criminal 'friend' has the key to Miami's safe and he wants it back, but said criminal has been caught by the police and is now in jail. Miami gets Barbie to file some trumped up charges, ensuring that Lee, Bacon and Jamie get sent to the same prison, and tells them that unless they get the key for him he will ensure that the charges will be made to stick.