King Arthur's Disasters

- Season 1

(2005)

Much to Camelot's horror, Princess Guinevere has taken up drumming as a hobby. In a mad moment of self-defence, King Arthur offers to pay for lessons but Guinevere manipulates him into bringing her a branch from the enchanted Singing Oak Tree - it would make the ideal drumstick, apparently. As Merlin is busy battling two kamikaze squirrels he tried to use as earplugs, the King sets out alone. But the Oak Tree is under the protection of Robin Hood and his not so merry band - not to mention a few Dark Forces.

King Arthur and Merlin set sail for Dolphin Rock in the Scottish waters near Kirkwall to collect Guinevere's latest desire - the Yodelling Dolphin. King Arthur's problems have only just begun when he discovers that hearing the Dolphin's yodel causes one to dance to death. Sneaking up on it underwater seems to be King Arthur's answer but an octopus and a giant squid have other ideas. In the end, the King decides that one Dolphin looks very much like another - except those that yodel wear lederhosen...

It's Father's Day and Princess Guinevere wants to give her father the famed Parchment of Arusella. Unfortunately the Parchment is locked up in the Pink Castle and guarded by a detachment of Pink Knights. Luckily, King Arthur is only too willing to risk life and limb to impress his ladylove. Of course, he never figured he would be challenged by Robin Hood, get caught on a burning bridge, nearly drown, get carried away by a vulture, fall from a castle window or get trapped on a runaway waterwheel...

While being chased by Robin Hood and his merry band, King Arthur stops at the tower to woo his lovely Princess and pick up her latest order. She wants her slipper turned into gold. Merlin knows where this can be arranged and he and Arthur travel to the Fountain of Oro, which lies at the centre of the Labyrinth of Lost Souls. Once in the Labyrinth, they are beset by falling rocks, trap doors, snake pits and scampering little Cornish gnomes - but by far the greatest danger comes from the noxious green smelly gas that emits from Guinevere's shoe...

Merlin discovers a love potion that guarantees Guinevere will want to marry King Arthur. But when the King aims the potion at Guinevere, he accidentally hits her chaperone, Petal. King Arthur sets out to the forest to collect the ingredients Merlin needs to reverse the spell. But finding a feather from a backward flying owl and a hair from an invisible unicorn is not as easy as you might think, especially if you're also dealing with the fearsome Beast of Bodmin, the treachery of Sir Launcelot and the stalking abilities of the lovesick Petal...

King Arthur and Merlin arrive at a French chateau on their way to steal the fabled 'Rose en Verre' - a beautiful stained glass window installed in a remote Chateau in the heart of France - yet another gift for, Guinevere (who else?) The Lady of the Chateau is none other King Arthur's sister 'Lady M' and she's outraged that this national treasure is going to the spoilt Guinevere. She warns her brother of dark forces and irate peasants... but as usual Arthur ignores such warnings and he soon ends up in deep water. Only Lady M's secret alter ego, the renegade Knight, Sir...

Princess Guinevere has ordered a new table - from Norway. In another attempt to win her affections, King Arthur runs afoul of Vikings, giant trolls, savage wolves, stampeding lemmings, Norwegian minstrels and the usual treachery from Sir Launcelot. Overcoming every obstacle, the King hauls a large, round table back to his fair Princess who promptly rejects it as too large and too round. A despondent King Arthur rolls the table into Camelot's main hall, unaware that this 'reject' would be linked throughout history to King Arthur and his Knights...of the Round Table!

King Arthur decides to invade Scotland when he discovers Princess Guinevere has been taken to Hadrian's castle. Unfortunately, the King's armies are accidentally sent in the wrong direction so Arthur is left with only four men to help him lay siege to the castle. Merlin levitates them over the battlements but Guinevere is nowhere to be found. King Arthur searches the length and breadth of Scotland only to discover Guinevere might not have been taken prisoner after all... so where on earth is she?

A scream pierces the peaceful Camelot night as a traumatised Guinevere discovers a grey hair. King Arthur quickly mounts a major expedition to mysterious Avalon to find the Fountain of Youth and save her from this dreadful affliction. After fighting off Sand Crones, Rock Guardians and Mist Monsters they reach the fabled fountain - which turns Merlin into a baby and Sir Launcelot into a pimply teenager. Trapped in the famed exploding orchards of Avalon, King Arthur leads his childish cohorts in a gigantic food fight against all of Avalon's Dark Forces.

Guinevere needs a temporary chaperone and King Arthur and Merlin travel to Baden-Baden to fetch Petal's cousin, Tatiana - a trapeze artist at Countess Griselda's International Circus. Tatiana agrees to go to Camelot provided her two pet apes come with her. But the evil Countess wants her valuable apes back and sends her circus folks after them. Taking refuge with Arthur's sister, Lady M, our heroes undergo the strangest siege imaginable - with acrobats scaling the chateau walls, fire-eaters burning down the doors, clowns bouncing on trampolines and a human cannonball ...

Princess Guinevere wants a pet and decides that the tiny Golden Bear of Tundoor would fit her lifestyle perfectly. But the eerie forest of Tundoor is home to the wicked sorceress Morgan Le Fay who becomes somewhat annoyed when King Arthur inadvertently destroys her cottage. Morgan casts a spell on Robin Hood and sends him after the King. But Arthur evades Robin by destroying a beehive - then evades the angry bees by destroying a beaver's dam - then evades the outraged beavers by being swept away in the raging river which bursts its banks and destroys Morgan's cottage ...

The 'Peacocks of Penzance' are regarded by many as myth. But that doesn't deter Arthur from seeking a quill from one in yet another attempt to get closer to Guinevere by writing to her cousin. What follows is treacherous skullduggery as Launcelot tries to dispatch Arthur - who is busy trying to dispatch Lord Epping - who is busy trying to dispatch Arthur. And Merlin adds to the general mayhem by mistaking the sleepwalking Lord Cornforth for a ghost - and with errant magic spells, tries to dispatch him too...

Guinevere wants an ice palace! And not just any ice palace. So it's off to Switzerland for King Arthur, via high mountains, avalanches, cracking river ice, an Abominable Snowman and running afoul of William Tell. Arthur wins the Matterhorn Ice Palace in an archery contest and takes it home to Guinevere. Finally, he has done something right, but Arthur wants her to be really impressed and insists Merlin lights some oil lamps around the Ice Castle. As the flames shoot up and the ice palace melts, Guinevere shouts to the retreating Arthur that all thoughts of an ...