Horrible Histories

- Season 3

(2011)

Meet an annoying French prankster from the Middle Ages, witness bizarre Aztec food on Historical Masterchef, see what happens when Queen Elizabeth I needs the toilet, and learn how not to impress a woman in Victorian times.

Some medieval knights discover the most disgusting way to attack a castle, the Saxons demonstrate the stupidest way to lose a battle, a Georgian goes shopping in a modern pet shop, and the kings and queens of England demonstrate how to remember them all, through the power of song.

A confused World War I soldier spends his first day in the trenches, William Wallace launches his music career as a rock rebel, Lady Jane Grey wins a frankly terrible competition, and the Welsh women of Fishguard defeat a French invasion without even trying.

An unusual Stuart highwayman doesn't always steal cash, a modern detective struggles to solve a series of murders in Emperor Caligula's house, HHTV goes undercover to prove allegations of cheating in Middle Ages jousting tournaments, and King George IV meets his dead relatives.

A Welsh prince from the Middle Ages has a very stupid death, King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette go on Historical Wife Swap with some starving French peasants, a Tudor peasant gets a super-hot makeover from Historical Fashion Fix, and Queen Cleopatra sings about her femme fatale reputation.

Henry VIII promotes his all meat, no vegetables diet plan, Bob Hale struggles desperately to explain the Middle Ages War of the Roses, a Stone Age man invents farming, and Admiral Nelson confuses everyone with his last words.

Robert Walpole struggles to talk to England's German king, a Scottish sportsman attacks dead cows in the Highland Games, American inventor Paul Revere demonstrates his gunpowder toothpaste, and the Roman Emperors channel the King of Pop in their musical argument over who's baddest of all.

HHTV reporter Mike Peabody gets caught up in the French Revolution, Henry VIII enjoys a highly dangerous sport for children, Saxon King Ethelred the Unready suffers online bullying from the Vikings, and the Suffragettes set the record straight in song.

The Vikings launch their advert for 'We Sell Any Monk', Queen Elizabeth I surprises her court with some very odd laws, the sacrifice obsessed Aztec priests sing their gruesome disco song, and we discover the Roman equivalent of text messaging.

Some WWI soldiers try some very unusual ways to cure frostbite in the winter, we watch the not-at-all-romantic movie starring William the Conqueror, Vincenzo Larfoff fails to scare us with the story of Aztec Emperor Motecuhzoma, and a strange Stuart doctor takes a snooze during the middle of a battle.

We rejoice in the odd marriage of Mary I and Philip II of Spain, a Pirate chef disgusts the judges on Historical Masterchef, the Victorian paramedics offer their bizarre medical advice to a modern patient, and a Stone Age man appears on Dragons Den with his innovative inventions.

The people of Strasbourg literally can't stand still with Dance Fever, HHTV presenter Fearne Polyester reports from a bizarre Greek festival, two Celtic warriors hold a rap battle to see who is best at boasting, and King Charles II meets the man who tried to steal the Crown Jewels.

The Savage Songs compilation, featuring the hip hop battle of the boasting Celts, pop superstar Cleopatra, rock rebel William Wallace, the soulful Suffragettes, the funky Aztec priests, the crooning caveman, bad boy heartthrob Dick Turpin, pouting Richard III, the children of the Victorian workhouses, and the many, many, merry monarchs!