Hoff the Record

- Season 1

(2015)

With his Hollywood career effectively at an end and in need of alimony money following his fifth divorce former heart-throb actor David Hasselhoff agrees to come to England to star in an 'avant-garde' docudrama about his life. With an entourage including flustered P.A. Harriet, devious manager Max and adoring driver Terry the Hoff finds himself in a less than luxurious hotel in Carshalton before having to audition to play himself - and losing out to a dwarf and a man who looks nothing like him. There is a bigger shock to come when 24-year old German Dieter turns up, ...

Having recovered from the shock of meeting Dieter the Hoff is also surprised to find that he is to shoot a commercial - organized by Max behind his back - with the fawning Dylan Turnbull, endorsing an after-shave called Be More Hoff. Somewhat humiliatingly it requires him to dress up as the Devil so he is pleased when personal trainer Danny encourages him to exercise with a view to making an action movie. Unfortunately an innocent comment which he has to defend on a radio phone-in with an angry feminist is misconstrued as sexist and the advertising contract is ...

Disillusioned with show business David warms to Danny's proposal that he becomes a UN goodwill ambassador but learns that he needs debating experience. Thus he turns up at Harriet's old school for their model UN debate and finds himself going head to head with the odious head boy, Alvin, the usual winner. David wins, thanks to a little bribery but his acceptance speech provided by Dieter proves to be controversial and his popularity is on the wane. Fortunately Harriet knows how to rally support when it is most needed.

The Hoff is looking to be a spokesperson for a charity and it is suggested that he campaign against land mines. Reluctantly Frank, the charity's CEO, sends him on a Hostile Environment course, run by foul-mouthed, tough-talking Mike Porridge, who is not impressed when Dieter and his father launch an escape attempt. As a result the charity declines the Hoff's services and worse is to come when Max, now jobless, deep in debt and equally desperate, books him a singing gig with a Turkistani 'businessman' who is in reality a ruthless war-lord.

Despite the collective misgivings of Harriet, Danny and Terry the Hoff is persuaded by the desperate Max to fly, with Dieter, to Tergistan to sing at war criminal Radovan Merkadic's birthday party. David is impressed by Merkadic's clear admiration for his work but unnerved by his trigger-happiness and, although his songs are well-received, Dieter's dance - personifying atrocities committed in Tergistan - requires a quick getaway in a replica of Kitt the car and an escape from a minefield.

With no work prospects and deep in debt David is on his way to discuss a pantomime appearance when he gets caught up in driver Terry's abduction of his daughter from his ex-wife. Unfortunately the media identifies the Hoff as the main kidnapper and the media latch onto the story. However, as Terry unfurls his Fathers 4 Justice banner the Hoff is able to turn things around and becomes a national hero - and a pantomime legend.