Green Acres

- Season 6

(1970)

Oliver invites four city children to spend a week on the farm. While Oliver teaches them to plant seeds and milk a cow, Lisa falls in love with the little girl of the group, Lori. The two bond while canning jars of Lisa's newest creation, banana jelly. Lisa talks Oliver into letting Lori stay for another month.

Lori, the little city-girl who missed the train back to the city, is staying on the farm. Lisa's plans to introduce her to the local children by having a party, get out of hand; the festivities grow to include an elephant and Haney giving biplane rides. While Oliver fights to downsize her event, he searches for a replacement part for his ancient Hoyt-Clagwell tractor so he can begin planting.

Eb won't stop badgering "Dad" to buy him a car even though an increasingly irritated Oliver keeps saying no. Noticing how his "parents" are lavishing a fortune on Lori with a new bicycle and rented piano, he feels replaced in the Douglas family and runs away to find a new job. He stops by Drucker's store just long enough to tell Sam how Oliver keeps him locked in leg irons and lost his $4000 on a drunken gambling spree in Las Vegas. Eb quickly returns home to discover Oliver isn't the monster he's been claiming.

Lisa gives yet another conflicting version of how she and Oliver met. She tells Lori that she was sharing a Paris apartment with her father, the deposed King of Hungary. While he was scheming his return to power, Lisa was a waitress at a sidewalk café when Oliver Douglas stopped by for six bottles of champagne. The King wants her to marry a baron who can bankroll his army, but Lisa is in love with the penniless American.

After saying goodbye to Lori at the airport, a distraught Lisa seeks a job to fill her days. Gossip Haney spots her in line at the County Welfare Office and assumes she's there for the free soup. Soon, Hooterville's convinced Oliver has squandered all his money and sent his wife out to find a job. Eb pawns Oliver's car for cash and the locals bring food.

Oliver and Lisa run against each other in the Hooterville Mayor's race.

Ed falls head over heels for Carol, the attractive new new schoolteacher in town. He asks her to the dance, forgetting he already has a date with his girlfriend Darlene. He ignores Oliver's advice, instead listening to Mr. Haney and tells Darlene that he has a wife in Racine, Wisconsin. Darlene's father, angry over this news, takes his displeasure out on Oliver's nose

Oliver can't find any pickers for his apple crop, and Lisa tries to learn how to drive.

The Douglases give Eb two acres of land so he can build a house for himself and his future bride, but the boy's only saved $538 for the job. He schemes to raise a down payment for a loan by turning the Douglas farm into a trash dump, a trailer camp, and a honeymoon getaway. To irritate Oliver further, he's forced into a dinner with Eb's future in-laws, the Wheelers, who keep accusing him of being an alcoholic.

An embezzler who's a dead ringer for Oliver hides out in Pixley with his wife until the heat is off. Eb spots the crook kissing his moll and assumes it's Oliver cheating on "Mom." Haney also spots the look-alike with a blonde and tries to blackmail Oliver into buying a hideous painting by Pablum Picarasso. When the cops show up, the real Oliver's the first one arrested. With both the real and fake Oliver in custody, the authorities ask Lisa to identify who's who.

Wanting a better paying career, Eb enters the accounting program of a correspondence school. When they mistakenly enroll him in their acting course, Eb believes it's destiny calling. Despite a disastrous attempt at makeup, he studies by dramatizing everyday events; a boring meal becomes dinner with King Louis XIV with Lisa as his serving "wrench"

Lisa discovers the Women's Lib Movement and decides to take over the male chores on the farm, reducing Oliver to the role of house-husband.

Lisa sulks when Oliver refuses to take her to New York for a big party. Meanwhile, Eb has begun hanging out with his new little, chubby, invisible friend Charlie. Not to be left out, Lisa fabricates Natasha, and then Oliver makes up Homer to spite the other two. A few days of this has Oliver thinking Eb needs a doctor. When trying to explain all of this foolishness to the sheriff, Oliver is the one who ends up looking screwy.

Darlene's dad puts a stop to her engagement when Eb presents her with a watch fob. Lisa lets Eb have the $2000 ring Oliver gave her during their engagement, and everybody's happy until Mr. Wheeler has it appraised. Learning that the ring's worth only $8 even makes Oliver mad. Since Wheeler seems more interested in money than love, Lisa has a chat with him in a language he understands.

A paint company offers to put a fresh coat the Douglas' house to take "before and after" photos. As quickly as they apply the paint, the porous wood absorbs it while making a sucking sound. Haney shows Oliver how to close the house's pores using a pore key, but that causes the house to gasp for breath. In the kitchen, Lisa has been practicing cooking spaghetti for three weeks for Oliver's birthday.

The duck shipped to Lisa by her uncle is the son of Drobny, the heroic WWII fowl who saved her life when she was in the Hungarian underground. When the locals learn there's a war hero's son in town, they begin plotting an elaborate celebration in hopes of luring in tourists. As usual, they ignore Oliver's attempts to tell them that their guest of honor is just a duck.

Eb and Darlene still don't have a location for their wedding, even though it's just two weeks away. Mr. Haney's first suggestion, to have it for free at a car wash, is shot down by Darlene. His second scheme comes complete with a household of furniture. Eb signs a contract to have their ceremony on TV in a furniture emporium's window. This time, Darlene's father puts a halt to the idea. To keep from being sued by the store, Lisa and Oliver fill in as bride and groom.

Arnold the pig is the key witness to a daring robbery, and just the pig to cook the crook's bacon.

Lisa parlays her uncle's cabbage soup into a miracle cleaning fluid and immediately puts all her friends on the 'spot.'

The governor declares the state bankrupt, shuts down most services, and raises taxes by 52%. Hothead Oliver demands the locals protest and, after hearing Lisa's story of how her father the king responded to a tax increase, secedes from the union. They blow up the bridge across Simpson's Swamp and anoint Mr. Douglas as King Oliver I. Now in a panic, Governor Carstairs puts on his waders and comes to the kingdom of Hooterville for a summit with his royal highness.

To keep their guest Drobny, a male duck, from becoming lonely - Lisa tries to find a female duck.

Ralph wants Hank to ask her to the Carpenter's Ball, but he comes up with feeble excuses to avoid it. With Oliver refusing to attend the foolish event, Lisa schemes to get the two together by asking Hank to be her date to the ball. In no time, Hooterville gossips have declared that the Douglas' marriage is on the rocks and Lisa and Hank are flying off Acapulco. Oliver decides the only way to stop the rumors is to attend with Lisa. For his efforts, he comes in third place in the beauty contest.

Oliver's really bad day starts when Kimball falls through the dry-rotted front porch and sprains his ankle. After Lisa moves the injured patient into their bedroom to recuperate he blows non-stop on his kazoo whenever he wants something. Ralph Monroe shows up wearing a nurse's uniform from a theater production to care for her "Hankie" and throw herself at him while he can't run away. Self-appointed "attorney" Haney tries to soak Oliver with a $50,000 lawsuit, and local farmers bring their livestock into the bedroom for Kimball's animal clinic. Oliver finally storms ...

Oliver takes a night course in organic farming at the state college while Lisa studies psychology. After just three classes, everyone in Hooterville is running to "Doctor Lisa" to analyze their problems and give advice. Despite all of Oliver's bellyaching about her not being a doctor, she's soon "saved the life" of Hank Kimball, Sam Drucker, Arnold the Pig, and a quacking goat with an identity problem.

Lisa cons Oliver into taking a fifth honeymoon together, this time in Hawaii. When they check into the honeymoon suite, they are unaware that the hotel manager's groovy daughter has also given her friends the suite. Since the suite has two bedrooms, the two couples simply have to avoid each other. This proves impossible.

Oliver contacts Carol, his one-time secretary, to find out where she'd had his watch repaired years earlier. In this pilot for a proposed series, Carol now works for a domineering California realtor. She prevents her boss from being conned by a man that Oliver had tried to indict back in New York.