Fernwood Tonight

- Season 1

(1977)

Tonight Barth's guests will be Howard Palmer and his handicap piano, Dr. Richard Osgood, Morton Rose a Jewish person of the Hebrew faith and Fernwood's own mayor Merle Jeeter. Barth explains that he has a day to day contract and expresses his confidence that public support will lead to a long term contract. Talking with Jerry, Barth eludes to legal problems back in Miami. Howard Palmer (Bruce Mahler) comes on to play a selection from Mozart on his upright Steinway while in his iron lung. Mayor Merle Jeeter (Dabney Coleman) joins the show to welcome Barth to Fernwood. ...

Tonight Barth's guests will be Baby Irene, Dr. Richard Osgood author of "Leisure Suits Cause Cancer", our special feature- Bury the Hatchet, Father Joseph Case and his parents and back with a TV first Howard Palmer the iron lung pianist. Barth thanks everyone for their support of the show. Barth introduces the Rocket to Stardom segment and Baby Irene who sings "I Didn't Know The Gun Was Loaded". Barth brings Happy over for a chat and he talks about his franchise dental service and his fast food franchises. Dr. Richard Osgood from the Fernwood Community College ...

Tonight Barth's guests will be April McTear with the amazing language of her body, consumer advisor Lou Moffatt, consumer Susan Cloud, Barth's father Garth Gimble Sr., an older yet somehow elderly man. Barth thanks everyone for their support. He explains that he got his father a job at the TV station and brings him out. Garth Sr. (Robert B. Williams) is working as a security officer. April McTear (April Tatro) displays her flexibility. Next Lou Moffatt (Lou Felder) talks about consumer protection from faulty appliances and demonstrates the Blend-o-Matic, the wonder ...

Tonight Barth's guests will be Marshall Petty the principal of Dwight D. Eisenhower High School with an examination of corporal punishment, Vietnam's own Mian Co Tiam and Darryl Washington, a young black person. Barth thanks the viewers for their support and acknowledges some of his critics by reading "negative" viewer mail. Darryl Washington (Darius Lawrence) dances and hula hoops while Barth tries to interview him. Mian Co Tiam (John Fujioka) author of "Yankee Doodle Gook" former minister of Parks and Playgrounds is the next guest. He tells Barth and Jerry that ...

Mrs. Dunbar discusses her daughter's televised spanking; the county coroner mentions that people can save money on funeral costs with "home burial."

Uncle Sam, Jr. discusses "what's right with America.;" Sylvia Miller says her body has been possessed by Marilyn Monroe; Candy Lee Hargrove discusses that she and other "Fascinating Females" enjoy being girls.

Barth talks to Happy Kyne about his military experience; Eulahlia Purdles talks about her spiritual vision; Connie Bushman discusses how she is training dogs to hear for people who are deaf.

Barth welcome a two-headed country music duo to the show. Consumer advocate Lou Moffitt warns viewers of nostalgia album ripoffs and scams, while pushing his own album of spiritual hymns. The band does its own rendition of Disco Duck. Barth encourages Jerry to become a talkshow host and Jerry interviews Congressman William Chambers. Jerry misses the point of the interview.

Dr. Van Moot discusses a no-frills hospital where people treat themselves; Bud Prize discusses how to save energy.

Virgil Simms talks about how he jumps motor homes; Dr. Emanuel Kazinski discusses how ethnic groups are being stereo-typed.

Lillian Dunbar plays her tuba; Happy Kyne discusses his music; Barth interviews black man who has same name as President Carter.

Uncle Sam, Jr. discusses how Richard Nixon is being verbally abused; Dr. Shack teaches people by shocking them when they give a wrong answer; Candy Lee Hargrove discusses how she and other females get together to discuss their problems.

Tony Rolleetti sings; Susan Cloud talks about her new restaurant.

Dr. Kazinski talks about breeding super athletes; Lou Moffitt discusses how some home music lesson are rip-offs.

Fernwood Precision Swim Team demonstrates skills on stage without water; Dr. Van Moot discusses questions sent in by patients; Connie Bushman talks about how dogs need to eliminate frustration.

Tonight's guests are William W D "Bud" Prize and Phillip Maltby. Barth announces that the Garth Gimble Pro-Am golf tournament is canceled due to lack of interest from touring pros, but that the Garth Gimble Memorial Tennis Classic will take its place. Tickets on sale now for $75 each. Bud (Kenneth Mars) joins Barth and Jerry. They read viewer mail and in response Bud tells a story about the device on his face. The story takes up his entire segment. Phillip Maltby (Morgan Upton) from Phil's Fashion Funwear is the second guest. He rebuts the contention that leisure ...

Barth interview Patty Thomas, Miss Bun-N-Run; Larry Guy discusses his broadcasting school for future DJs; Connie Bushman talks about how animals are being mistreated in the media.

Tonight Barth's guests are Lou Moffett who shows you how to live with dirt and Mrs. Sylvia Miller who spent a night with a foreigner. Barth opens the show by getting serious for a minute, he was saddened by a letter that accused him of abusing his privilege. Barth vows to use his great power only for good. He throws in several plugs during his vow. Barth interviews bass player Mr. Eddie Thomerson (Eddie Robertson) then Eddie and the band play La Bamba. Mrs. Sylvia Miller (Fannie Flagg) tells her story of an encounter with an extraterrestrial alien. He was a two foot ...

Tonight Barth's guests are Vernon Taylor (Uncle Sam Jr) who will shoot off his mouth on your face and Mrs. Candy Lee Hargrove who will practice birth control until she gets it right and Donny Conn who made a million with his honker. Barth uses his monologue to endorse the upcoming tax levy to fund the purchase of a paper shredder for the Fernwood Police Department. Jerry talks about his commute to work, he takes the bus and sits in the "coach's seat". Vernon (Vern Rowe) gives a speech "Man's Best Friend Speaks Out" concerning what a gun would say. Vernon then plays "...

Tonight Barth's guests are Elliot Tubbs who proves that any dummy can sell insurance and a big surprise for Mike Douglas fans even though he is still alive. Barth is suffering from a summertime cold. Barth recognizes senior cameraman Billy Shavers on his birthday. Elliot (E.J. Schuster) discusses his job as an insurance salesman and how he uses puppets and humor to make sales. Happy joins Barth to share a story about Elliot and Happy's "Songs for Shut-Ins" program for customers at the Bun and Run. Happy then does a special heartwarming number with Debbie Dunbar (Kathy...

Tom Waits sings then is interviewed; Bud Prize talks about opportunities for those who move to Fernwood.

Tonight Barth's guests will be Dr. Stanley Turnbull with a home test for mental illness. Barth opens the show by singing his best bossa nova song where so as to not offend he hums all off-color lyrics. Dr. Stanley Turnbull (Richard Kline) comes on to administer his home test for mental illness. Barth then opens the phone lines for viewers to call in with questions for the Doctor. Happy comes to the couch to talk about his restaurant the Bun and Run and his plan to open a hem stitch franchise.

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Tonight Barth's guests will be Mr. Mario Dorsett a rich Italian and Tony Rolletti an Italian who would like to be rich but who sings instead. Barth talks about his whiplash lawsuit and its potential impact on his charity golf tournament. Happy sings "Heart of My Hearts". Tony Rolletti (Bill Kirchenbauer) who is performing at the Vacation Inn comes on and sings "You Are the Sunshine of My Life". Tony then joins Barth and Jerry to discuss his gig at the Vacation Inn and his albums "Tony Rolletti's Greatest Hits" featuring "Tuna Roll Blues" and "Tony Rolletti Sings for ...

Gilbert Ulysses Nelson discusses how to reduce crime by offering cash incentives to citizens; Mr. and Mrs. Willis Craig talks about how they live in constant pain.

Barth wants to know your unfulfilled American dream. Happy and Donna Lou sing I Love You, Porgy. Dr. Slocum discovered a new human organ. Marianne Cox crashed into Dean Martin's car.

The first winner of the American Dream contest is not awarded their $10 prize. The "Mitchell twins" dance. Larry Guy has kids help with the blood drive. Sandy's mother doesn't approve of Sandy dating boys who drive vans.

While Lori Gallagher dances and sings, her mother plays the drums; Gilbert Nelson discusses "Father and Son" program at his gun club; Bud Prize disputes Sylvia Miller's claim that she had a sexual experience with a man from outer space.

The Mirth Makers are on strike. 3 of the Humdingers quartet performs. Dr. Beach wants to sell everybody an ounce of prevention. Barth finally gives away the $40 American Dream prize.

Barth researches folk music from his room at the Holiday Inn. Barth, Jerry, Happy, and the Mirth Makers perform a cappella of "men". Mrs. Nettie Foreman and Barbie Osgood are in to granny porn. Mr. Phillip Maltby explains his niche market of smuggling cheap American laborers to Mexico, and getting caught.

Child classical pianist Danny Griffey performs Chopin's Prelude No. 26 in A Flat Major and is assisted by 3 bikini clad Dunbar sisters. Little Billy Jenkins franchises his lemonade stands through his church. The Krebbs explain a new form of natural childbirth, La Fromage method.

Barth spearheads the "Bring A Negro To Fernwood" campaign to help comply with Fernwood's new integration laws. Poet Martin Worth performs "The Ballad of Watergate" with Happy Kyne's musical accompaniment. Organic-food enthusiast Susan Cloud clashes with Happy Kyne, who happens to own a chain of fast food restaurants. Chauffeur Earl Simmons promotes his book "Richard Nixon: The Plastic Bellman" which alleges that Richard Nixon has been replaced by a double.

The "Fitness Twins" demonstrate how to lose weight' Mayor Jeter recognizes young girl who sold more cookies than all other girls; Barth's father shows off his dog who does tricks.

Girl displays her gymnastic skills; Vern Taylor discusses how the FDA are communists and are weakening the nation; woman discusses her book "You Are You."

Representatives from the FCC Marching Band are introduced; barber discusses his barber shop; Barth discusses his whiplash accident with callers.

Jane Tiffanny, who reports the sports, is interviewed by Barth while flirts with her; Bud Prize discusses smut; Happy Kyne does a one-man percussion band.

Gerorge Krebs talks about his wife's pregnancy; Tony Rolletti performs then discusses his book.

Virgil Simms discusses how to get the most out of your car warranty; man who worked 42 years as men's room attendant is interviewed.

Baby Irene performs; Linda Barry discusses how she wants to spread nudist camps throughout Ohio; George Ellsworth talks about reality toys.

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Wrestler Rock Mondo is interviewed; Jane Tiffanny returns; Sylvia Miller discusses who she wants her aunt to be canonized.

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Happy Kyne sings song about teeth; Vern Taylor discusses his brother's work on neutron bomb; Dr. Matthew discusses his sex therapy clinic.

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Tony Rolletti performs; Chance Rolletti sings; Bud Prize talks about Dinah Shore then discusses how everyone can draw.

Barth shows what a "Happy Face" would look like in other countries; Barth introduces the "Debbie Dunbar Review." man discusses how he was brought back to life; Virgil Simms gives advice on how to fix up your old car for resale.

Barth and Happy talk about how the "Mirth-Makers" were started; Bud Prize discusses Cletus Emmett Wheelwelker's trip to outer space; Rev. Chung Hee talks about how U.S. Congressmen have been receiving money from his "church."

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Woman writes "updated" book on etiquette; Col. Morris Chandler talks about men who went berserk after withdrawing too early from the Viet Nam war.

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Barth's aunt wants him to return to Florida; Russian dancer who defected performs.

Virgil Simms offers do-it-yourself auto repair course; Elliott Tubbs discusses reducing drinking age to 16 and offering liquor licenses to fast-food restaurants

Tonight Barth's guests will be Edward Bailey and his flying hamburgers and Dr. Harlen Washburn a black man who certainly doesn't live here and also Baby Irene who looks like a midget but is actually young and Happy Kyne and the return of the Mirth Makers. Barth replied to some comments made by talk show host Tom Snyder. Happy helps introduce Edward Bailey (Edward Jackman) who juggles and eats hamburgers. Dr. Harlen Washburn (Mel Bryant) from Porter City of the Washburn Foundation for Equal Education is the next guest. The Foundation is working to establish a school ...

Young boy sings and plays trombone; man discusses teaching tennis to the blind; woman talks about sending the obese to a weight-loss prison.

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Virgil Simms invents battery-powered car; Dr. Emanuel Kazinski discusses gays.

Barth Gimble offers to appear at your party; man organized "Appreciation Society" for Tom Snyder; female basketball team is interviewed.

Bob and Joanne Herlick tap dance the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. Nelson Phipps talks about the Amusement and Healing Parks.

Princess Shosheen Rising Star tries to promote using Indians in movies; Dr. Turnbull discusses how puppets can be used in resolving problems between workers.

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Three criminals, Misters X, Y and Z discuss the crime problem; Bud Prize discusses crime in Fernwood.

Barth sells Fernwood 2-Night furniture to pay a fine then organizes "telethon" to so he can buy it back;