Barney's Mind

- Season 1

(2009)

In this episode, Barney yawns his way through a tram ride to work and wonders where OSHA was when they were putting (or lack of) in handrails.

Barney drinks his soda, watches a computer blow up, and pushes some barrels around...oh, and the shit hits the fan.

Our protagonist shoots some aliens, blows up some stuff, and begins his long trek upwards (still with limited handrails).

Our protagonist travels to the bowels of the Black Mesa research facility (eugh, and it comes complete with piss water and ladders).

Our protagonist swims in raw sewage, falls off a few things, and disobeys a sign with explosive consequences.

Our protagonist sees the light, get shot at, breaks a ladder, and squishes some Cheetos...I mean roaches.

Follow the thoughts of Mr. Barney Calhoun, a Black Mesa security guard and pessimistic individual. In this episode our protagonist slips and slides, coins the term 'head humpers', and shoots some people.

Our protagonist takes on the US army, wishes he had a cell phone, and listens to some tunes.

Our protagonist talks about bran muffins, falls unconscious, and destroys a tank. BOOYAH.

Part 1 - our protagonist almost gets shot, blows up some CO2, and gets locked in a train car. Part 2 - our protagonist finds Dr. Rosenberg, ingests some human body parts, and rediscovers his "love" of elevators.

Our protagonist gets to the lab, teleports to the alien world, and gets leukemia.

Follow the thoughts of Mr. Barney Calhoun, a Black Mesa security guard and pessimistic individual.

Our protagonist aligns some focus emitters, kills some cacodeamons, escapes back to Black Mesa, and then gets volunteered to return to hell again.

Our protagonist finds hot pipes, coolant and a battery.

Our protagonist finds the way out of Black Mesa.