'Allo 'Allo!

- Season 3

(1986)

Herr Otto Flick's sausage, containing the forged painting The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies by Van Klomp, is kidnapped by the communist Resistance who demand a ransom for its return. Colonel von Strohm and Captain Geering, anxious that Herr Flick does not discover their part in the deception, get René to pay the ransom which he does with money Edith obtains from Monsieur Alfonse. Dressed as a German soldier René drops off the money, observed by both German and French parties also in disguise. However Lieutenant Gruber turns up with his dog who runs off with the ...

Lieutenant Gruber is about to mince the sausage his dog brought in when he discovers the painting The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies by Van Klomp. The Resistance pay off Monsieur Alfonse, who provided the ransom money, with notes forged by LeClerc whilst Gruber is ordered to fake another copy of the picture. Michelle intends to get the airman out using an old aeroplane in the museum. It will be powered by the motor from General von Klinkerhoffen's lawn mower, which she has smuggled out in Madame Fanny's wheelchair.

Waitress Maria is sent to Gruber with the genuine painting in order for him to copy it. However, she is intercepted by von Klinkerhoffen who puts the painting, inside the sausage, in his wardrobe and refuses to release Maria until he gets his lawn mower motor back. René, von Strohm, Geering and Flick, using the secret passages, break into the chateau to steal back the painting.

René has successfully got the painting back so Michelle concentrates on her plan to get the airmen away in the ancient aeroplane. It is to be drawn by a car and catapulted into the air, requiring René to collect 800 metres of men's braces, which he does under the guise of his Grand Order of the Night Owls. Herr Flick and Helga, aware that something may be afoot, turn up in Flick's staff car but it is flattened by a runaway steam-roller so they miss seeing the failed escape when the plane fails to take off and René is flung through the air.

The airmen are disguised as waitresses at the café. However, von Klinkerhoffen recognizes a Van Gogh, behind which René has hidden The Fallen Madonna, and he requisitions it to be taken to the chateau, along with the two 'waitresses'. To thwart this an elaborate pantomime is staged, whereby the two men dress as tarts out to seduce René. A supposedly enraged Edith then 'shoots' them with a gun loaded with blanks. The 'corpses' are taken to Alfonse's funeral parlour under which a tunnel has been dug, connecting to the prisoner-of-war camp across the road, in which it is...

As René communicates with London on the radio hidden under Madame Fanny's bed Herr Flick listens in and learns of the plan to dig the tunnel into the prison camp. The airmen and Monsieur Alfonse need help in digging so René and his staff join in. Colonel von Strohm and Captain Geering follow René and go through the tunnel, which collapses behind them, trapping them and René in the camp with the airmen and the café staff. General von Klinkerhoffen is about to make his inspection of the prisoners but the Germans and the girls are disguised as British servicemen and fool...